Morbidly Obese Black Man with Diabetes in a Wheel Chair... is about to get made fun of

So I was at the bus stop today and saw this manatee, I mean reeeeeaally fat black guy, in a wheel chair. He is so fat that just one of his legs takes up an entire sleeping bag. I hope he knows that sleeping bag could house an entire Mexican family. And when I said wheelchair, I was mistaken; it's actually the launch pad for the space shuttle. My next thought was, "Why is he wearing gloves?". I mean, he has enough fat on his body so that he never gets cold and I doubt the launch pad is manually operated, so it's not like he would develop calluses from spinning the wheels.

new word: wreckmanomics

I was on facebook today and saw that one of my good friends, we'll call her "Krysia Krish", had become a fan of "Wreckonomics". It didn't have anything to do with me destroying the economy, so I invented the word "Wreckmanomics", you know, in case I need to write a book one day about how I eventually did destroy the economy, not that it isn't pretty destroyed already.

Writing a blog is easy when other people do it for you

Aaron: So what is Earth Day Anyways... Explain it....

Jimmy:

You laugh at the earth for being dumb and not killing humans yet. I usually enjoy this holyest of days by burning trash, cutting down a few small helpless trees melting plastic and spraying airosal cans into the sky. So remember kids steal your parents keys and start up that suv because its earth day

HPD does not equal HDP

all i wanted to say was:
heilbrun prom date does not equal hands down pants

Word of the Week

Bust + Testicles = Busticles

(As in: That party was a bust, not in terms of ejaculation)

This Girl Thinks She's Going to Medical School

This conversation occurred after I told her only small asian girls could get admitted to medical school

Michael

you didnt see the new law that got passed?

12:37amNicole

which?

12:37amMichael

well, since medical schools are so crowded

12:38amNicole

oh fuck you, youre being sarcastic

12:38amMichael

they are now only letting in small people

12:38amNicole

HAHA

12:38amMichael

and males are too aggressive for most medical fields

i.e. pediatrician

12:38amNicole

haha

12:39amMichael

and since asian people only eat rice, they dont have to worry about feeding them in residency

so

the only people that get let in are small asian girls

12:39amNicole

ahaha

youre ridiculous

but also hilarious, i'll admit

12:41amMichael

i know

you're better off for knowing me

12:42amNicole

haha

we'll see about that

and if youre business

enjoy your cubicle

which will eventually lead to an office

12:43amMichael

corner office

12:43amNicole

that will continue to have four walls and maybe a window for the rest of your career

12:43amMichael

with a hot secretary

12:43amNicole

and you can stew in your insanely individualistic lifestyle

where you follow a type of politics known only to the businessman

know as the "i dont really care what happens in the rest of the world as long as im making money and my stocks are doing well"

12:45amMichael

yea how did you know?

live in a gated community away from the riff raff

trophy wife

2.2 kids

12:45amNicole

ew

12:46amMichael

well not literally 2.2 kids

its a statistic

but if i have a kid thats a midget

that is totally cool with me

12:46amNicole

oh dont worry, im referring to the gated community and trophy wife

12:46amMichael

i accept all people equall

y

12:46amNicole

haha

12:46amMichael

what is wrong with a gated community and trophy wife

dont you want a trophy husband?

12:46amNicole

im glad you felt the need to assert that

12:46amMichael

or do you want to be a trophy wife?

thats prob the only reason you're going to med school

get your claws into some brain surgeon while he least suspects it

12:47amNicole

gated communities are a waste of money and were created so people could justify living in their own little bubbles of what they want life to be like

not if i get to be the surgeon first

and i want a husband with a brain

12:48amMichael

that you put in his head?

as a brain surgeon

12:48amNicole

which is not something i think of when i hear "trophy husband"

12:48amMichael

slowdown dr frankenstein

12:48amNicole

hahaah

12:50amNicole

well regardless of the guy

i still think gated communities are bullshit

12:50amMichael

why

12:50amNicole

but thats just my opinion

i just told you

^^^^ up there

12:51amMichael

umm

gates can keep minorities out

you've obvi never been to usc

12:52amNicole

aha

lol i havent

but i hate that youre playing devils advocate with me